Does Every Mom Have Days Like This?

I wish I wasn't a mom today.

Not because I don't want T Junior. Not because he's been whining all morning. Not because of the mess, the tantrums, the requests to read Clifford the Big Red Dog over and over, or to watch annoying Thomas.

No, it has nothing to do with him except that he's what makes me a mom.

Today I can't do it. I just can't. Every drop of patience has been sucked out of me. Every nerve has been stretched and pulled like taffy. Every noise grates my brain. Every muscle spent. I even have a side ache.

If I wasn't a mom today, I would be at work where I would hide in my cubicle. Or, I would pull the covers over my head and sleep it off. I would lose myself in What Not to Wear re-runs. And, I would keep my mouth shut if I couldn't say anything nice.

But I am a mom and today, I've yelled, "Stop whining!" three times, which we all know doesn't work. It only makes me feel lower than I do already. And it only makes the whining continue. I haven't done anything. The TV is off. No music. At least we are dressed for the day. I need to go to the store. I had plans to visit the library. Perhaps, the park.

Instead, I sit paralyzed, staring at the wall, ignoring the noise.

Luckily, it's sunny outside. Not raining. And now that it's warmed up a little, T Junior is playing on the back deck with the dogs. I am watching him drive plastic trucks through the window and can feel a smile inside me. The whining has subsided for the time being and a nap is on the horizon.

Hopefully, when he wakes up, I'll be a mom again. A good mom.