My Mom Logic

Speechless is not a word my friends would use to describe me. Quietless is more accurate. I like to keep the conversation going.

But last week, I was thrown off my game when an elderly woman asked me: "How do you feel about the world?"

And so I was speechless. The only other time that happened was during a phone call with my 10-year-old nephew.

Me: How are you doing?

Him: Good, ma'am.

Me: Did you have a nice Christmas?

Him: Yes, ma'am.

Me (thinking): That's it, I'm out. Now what do I do?

Me: Is your dad there?

But, back to how I feel about the world: First of all, it was a very general question. Second, I hadn't had a chance to think about it. I was being put on the spot.

After about 10 seconds, I answered like my nephew, "Good."

The woman gasped. "Really?"

Her shock surprised me at first, but a few days later I wanted to change my mind.

I do feel good about my world. My little Kerrie world. It's really not too shabby. Mr. T and I both have jobs, we have a house, our health, our families, and T Junior at 11 months is thriving and happy (except when he's cranky).

My new answer, though, if I could go back, would be a little more lengthy than "good" because, really, the only way I can see all of the big world, Earth and all its places and people, is through information from sources like news media, books and the Internet. And it isn't a rosy picture.

I used to work at a newspaper. I read the wires. The things I saw bothered me. But then I went home and watched "America's Next Top Model," and all was right again.

That was before I was a mom.

Before I was a mom, I knew bad things happened and accepted it was just part of life. Before I was a mom, I could read the news without crying. Before I was a mom, sad stories didn't stick with me for days, weeks or even longer. They didn't suck the air out of my body. I could let go of what I saw or read or heard.

But not anymore.

Now, the trials of this world haunt me. Some more than others. Especially anything involving young children. It doesn't matter if I knew them. Their imaginary faces float in and out of my mind, keeping me awake at night, leaving me with a helpless heart.

Real Logic tells me these weren't my babies, there is nothing I could have done. Mom Logic, however, says they were.

But I guess that's just part of being a mother. Your thoughts become heavier, weighted down with worry, heartache and love.

I may have to stop watching the news.

Yes, I think that will be...good.

This post is in response to the Mother of All Bloggers Contest prompt sponsored by the Mom Logic Community and the Mom Bloggers Club. Wish me luck! :)