Concept: Change an 8-month-old's loaded diaper as he is twisting and turning like a tornado on a changing table as he tries to put his hands in it, with no wipes readily available, the phone ringing and you are supposed to be somewhere in 10 minutes.
Required skills: Gentle strength, patience, quickness, mental toughness and a strong stomach
Second Quarter: The Carrot Hail Mary
Concept: Feed an 8-month-old highly stainable pureed carrot mash from the tip of a flimsy plastic spoon while he bobs and weaves like a head-banging rocker from the '80s and waves his arms up and down minigolf windmill-style.Required skills: Quickness, ability to anticipate and stay calm
Third Quarter: The Crawl-and-Tackle
Concept: Stand on the far side of the room behind something solid like the dishwasher, high chair or pile of laundry, then dash after an 8-month-old crawler making a beeline for something he definitely shouldn't be licking, like a Roomba or the dusty tile floor around the fireplace.
Required skills: Maneuverability, quickness, sense of humor
Fourth Quarter: The Shopping Cart Lick-Off
Concept: Hold a squirming 8-month-old in one arm as you Clorox every nook and cranny on the germ-infested child's seat area on a shopping cart with the other. Then, still holding the 20-pound child, secure a fabric seat barrier including Velcro straps and wrap-around handle cover. Next, place child in seat and sprint through Wal-Mart (preferebly on a busy day such as Christmas Eve) collecting things listed on a sheet in front of you and before you get too close to nap time while keeping child from licking and chewing on non-covered areas of cart.
Skills needed: Energy, arm and leg strength, ability to think on your feet
Go team Mom!
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